22-Mar-2009
The devastating discovery that your girlfriend is addicted to nasal spray can be made all the more disconcerting if by the time you realize it, you have no friends left to complain to. The phenomenon of "friend neglect" occurs at the onset of all new relationships, but with our tendency to phagocytize each other (commonly known as merging or codependence), we dykes are at higher risk. We neglect to return phone calls, stop going to Sunday night L Word parties, and stay in bed feeding our new lover strawberries all weekend, missing out on fun-filled flag football games. We exist under the delusion that everything we need in life comes from this one wonderful gal.
And then, something just...happens. While brushing your teeth one morning, you spy a six-inch pile of empty nasal spray canisters at the bottom of the bathroom sink. The canisters are covered with your toothpaste spittle. You think: Was this here before? (It was. You just didn't notice.) and Is this normal? You need: A reality check.
